When Harry Wed Jimmy? - OS Version
by Aislin Elizabeth
Summary: When Dudley gets an unexpected visitor with a wedding invitation, things get confusing, especially when there's a misunderstanding. OS competition version. Winner of Most Humorous in Wandlore's OS Rare pairs Competition.


There was a knock on the door, then another knock, "Yeah, I'm coming, hold yer horses will ya!" He said walking over and opening the door to his flat, "Hullo….. wait, Harry?"

"Dudley, hi! I need to talk to you, kind of important, could I..?" Harry said, looking a bit nervous as Dudley opened the door to see him there.

"Yeah, yeah, course mate" he said, stepping aside then looking to see if anyone else saw.

"War's over, remember? All safe Dudley, you alright?" Harry gave a short laugh, trying to reassure his cousin that there wasn't a crazy psychotic killer chasing him anymore.

"Yeah, yeah, What'd ya need Harry?"

"Well, I'm not sure, I just, I've got a problem, and …"

"What? You just said! You just said that war was over!" Dudley yelled, panic starting to show in his face.

"I'm getting married, and you need to be there.." Harry explained

"What?" Dudley asked, confusion over his face. 'Married, was that legal over in the wizarding world, did they have different legal rulings.' he thought to himself, not wanting to ask his cousin.

"Married. In a month, and I need you to be there. You are my only family, and need you to be there for part of the ceremony, honestly. All you need to do is just show up, show up, say yes and have some dinner, drinks and go home."

"Wait, you are getting married in a month and you just found out you need me to be there?" He said, a giving a slight pause before he added on, "So, what's the name? That one from school?"

"Yeah, wizarding ritual and all, need a family member to confirm who I am, or something or other, not really sure. Yes, we met at school. Ginny, absolutely great, best person in the world for me, knows me inside and …."

"Harry, got it, got it, you and Jimmy, really close, no need for further info, really. Got the date and where, what will I need to wear? None of those crazy dresses, right?"

"Yeah, Ginny, um, yeah, got the card, er invite right here, you can drop it back in the post and it'll let us know what you want to eat, stuff like that. Think my mate Ron might be planning some kind of guys night, really not sure about it, that'll be about a week or so before. Hermione said something to Ginny about not the night before the wedding, so now that's all been changed. Crazy, all this wedding stuff, and they are robes Dudley. Robes, not dresses."

"Keep telling yourself that Harry, dresses, they look like dresses, will I need to.."

"No Dudley, just a good, nice suit will work. Would you like to come to the night out with a bunch of us? Up to you, Ron's planning it, better be good, we had a great time at his, but since it's Ginny I'm marrying, siblings and all, I'm sure it won't be as crazy, he doesn't want to cross Ginny."

"Ugh, yeah sure, when's it and I'll see if I can make it, somewhere I can get to or.."

"Yeah, just in London he said - the muggle, er, the normal, respectable, person side, of the city."

"Sure Harry, I'll try, going to see some girls, er, not going to be …"

"Yeah, nothing like that, I think Ginny made'm swear to not do any strippers for my party. Who knows, maybe they'll just combine both parties, I think Hermione mentioned something about that, maybe just go to a few bars…" Harry finished, feeling a bit uncertain, "So, well, I'll be going then, I'll um, see you later then Dudley?"

"Yeah, sure Harry, I'll be there for the thing, then I'll be there for the wedding to Jimmy." He said, walking Harry over to the door, and letting him out.

"You don't need to bring this up to Uncle Ver.."

"Not going to tell him a word of it Harry. I don't need to hear him go on and on; he doesn't know we started talking again. Don't need to tell him about you and Jimmy, I'll see you later, get some rest mate, you really look a little worse for wear." he said as he shook his head and shut and locked the door behind him, with Harry on the outside.

"Jimmy, eh, whatever makes'm happy and stays with the blokes on his normal side of London." Dudley said mumbling to himself, only half glancing at the invitation that Harry had handed him, taking only note of the day, marking it on his calendar, simply as H-2p. If his mum stopped over, didn't need her to know and mention it to dad either. He hard a hard enough time with Harry being a wizard, but add on marrying a bloke, that might send him really off the edge.

A few weeks passed and it was the night to go get some drinks at the bar. He wasn't even sure he wanted to go, though he figured if it was really crazy and just blokes and more of them, he could just leave and Harry wouldn't know. He got to the door and walked in, taking a seat next to the bar. Ordering a drink, he paid and sat there a moment, looking around. He could hear a loud crowd in a separate room just off the main bar - he figured that was where the party was. Harry sure had a lot of friends, or Jimmy did if they were all having a party, the only voices he could hear were male. Oddly enough it seemed, the main room was mostly inhabited by females. 'they must be the girlfriends of the guys in the other room', he thought to himself. He finished his drink, and when the bartender came back around he ordered another. When the glass made its way back to him, there was a soft voice to his side,

"Is anyone sitting here" The voice asked, "I'm not sure I can keep up with all of them but it's much quieter over here."

Dudley turned and looked at the voice, a pretty blonde with gray eyes, and what looked like a stick sticking out from her hair. "Ugh, yeah, sorry, I mean, no, nobody's been sitting here, just me."

She gave a smile, "Wanted to check, just in case I just couldn't see them. It wouldn't be right to sit where someone was already just because I can't see them. I'm Luna by the way, Luna Lovegood." offering her hand to him.

He gave a slight gulp at the offered hand, "Dudley Dursley. Nice to meet you."

"Dudley, Dudley, wait, Harry's cousin?" she asked and he looked uncertain, was it a good thing or a bad to be his cousin. Dudley was more surprised Harry would have even mentioned him to anyone - they didn't get along, especially when they were younger and Dudley had taken to trying to beat him up at any given moment.

"Ugh, yeah, yeah, I'm Harry's cousin, he invited me but since I didn't really know anyone, I wasn't sure."

"Oh, that's ok, I understand, and Harry likes to keep to himself too. It's how I figured you were related, you also have a few similar features. Harry looks the same way when he's not certain and doesn't think anyone else is looking."

"Just how close are you to Harry?" He asked, was this a girl that made him more interested in blokes, that wouldn't be a good sign, had they been school friends? Oh right that stick must be her wand. Interesting place to put it though, almost made sense, she'd not be as noticeable to others as being a witch.

"Friends, I'm the same year as Ginny, that's how I met Harry, year below him in school. I was also in a club with him as well, when he was teaching us, before everything." she added, then turned to the bartender and ordered a drink.

He looked confused as to who Ginny was, but shrugged it off. It was probably just another person from school that he knew. Apparently there were a lot more of these wizards and witches than he knew, or thought existed. Yes, while they had a school he didn't think it was more of a handful or so of the 'freaks', as his parents called them, but he was starting to learn more and more bits about this group that he only knew the sheer existence of and not more then that.

They talked and drank - Luna telling him about the creatures she was studying and looking for, apparently she'd be famous for discovering a few creatures. Dudley tried telling her a bit about himself, though he didn't seem quite as interesting as she was. That didn't stop Luna from asking questions and she seemed strangely interested in him and what he did. As the night went on they got into a good conversation, the rest of the people just seemed to drift away. Even the loud noises of them became less and less noticeable. When it was almost closing time, Dudley could hardly believe he had spent the whole night talking to this witch who was really interesting, pretty, and didn't care that he knew just about nothing about her world, even if he was related to Harry freaking Potter. Looking at his watch, he realized just how late it was.

"I'm so sorry, I need to get going, I still need to get them a gift, and I'm supposed to see my parents before I head to where the thing is. They don't know Harry's getting married yet. We, we didn't get along as kids and mum and dad still don't really acknowledge he even exists."

"Oh, that's sad, Harry's such a good person, I'm glad though he's got you for family. You really are quite nice, and a great cousin to him. I couldn't imagine you are that strained with him, he invited you here, and to the wedding, he must still think highly of you."

"Oh, he said it was because he needed family to be there, so I'm a matter of convenience rather than actually wanting me there. I'm supposed to just say yes, about something, then enjoy the dinner and drinks and such and then go on my way."

"Really? I haven't known any type of wedding that needed that, I was sure they were having the same ceremony as Ron and Hermione had, and Hermione's parents are muggles, and weren't actually able to make it. She altered their memories before the war to be sure they were ok, and hasn't figured a way around it yet. Hermione's way better at magic than the average person, so a simple fix just won't work."

"Well, I know you'll already be there, and it is a bit last moment, you don't have, er, a date yet to the wedding do you? It was nice talking to you, and you can explain some of the stuff to a muggle like me?" Dudley stammered, the few drinks that he'd been consuming starting to take effect.

"Oh, um, that'd be really nice, I hadn't given a thought to bringing someone, I spend so much time looking for those creatures, and a lot of the others liked to make fun of me in school. Never the Weasleys, Harry or Hermione, though, they've been all great friends.

"Oh, I still need to get them something, would you want to meet me there, and we can head over together? I was thinking over by One New Change, it's over by St. Paul's. I think Harry said I need to be somewhere by there."

"Yes, that'd be good, I know about where that is, and I can get you to where the wedding is, it is in a wizarding area, though not to hard to get to from there."

"How about noon? Gives us time to get there, right? Harry said it started at 2 on the invitation."

"That sounds great, if you walk I think it takes about a half hour, though we can travel like wizards if we need and you want to try it."

"That I'm not sure of, maybe I'll stick with walking for the moment…."

"Dudley, Dudley! You made it mate! Luna!" They heard coming from the other room. Harry came stumbling out with a red haired boy who seemed to be trying to hold him up and scanning the room for someone.

"Harry, yeah, though I was about to leave, need to do breakfast with mum and dad. Aunt Marge is visiting."

"That's crazy Dudley, just skip it, She may not be a witch, but she's a real.."

"Harry, why doesn't Ron take you back? I think if you leave now, Ginny won't see you, and I don't believe you probably want her to see you like this."

"Great idea Luna! You are the BESHT!" Harry exclaimed leaning forward giving her a large hug. She gave him a few pats on the back then gave him back to the redheaded guy.

"I'll see you in the few days mate, it'll be good. I do need to get going though." Dudley paused, then looking back over to Luna, "It really was nice meeting you, I'll see you later then, noon?"

Luna gave a smile and a nod, "I'll be there." she said as she turned to finish paying her tab, then ordering Harry a glass of water and handing it to him.

Dudley left the bar with a grin, the night had gone much better than he had expected. He was there at the party, though didn't need to partake in any odd wizard ritual they may have planned or done while he was in the other room. Luna, she was an unexpected surprise at the bar. He didn't think he'd meet a girl like her - she was different, something he really, really liked. She didn't act superior because she was a witch, she hardly even brought it up, only when she was talking about her work and studies and those creatures she was looking for and learning about. Some of them sounded pretty cool. Hailing a cab, he took it to his flat and headed up to go to bed. He wasn't sure whether to dread meeting with his parents and aunt, or to look forward to Harry's wedding and seeing Luna again. If someone had asked him even a few days ago, it would have been switched, he didn't mind his parents, Aunt Marge wasn't his favorite person though. Harry's wedding had actually been something he was dreading and now it was with excitement that he thought about it, or maybe not the wedding, just the seeing Luna again.

The next morning found Dudley waking up at 6am, which was a surprise for anyone. He was up, washed up and had decided it was just safer to wear his suit to breakfast and be careful. He supposed this would be the one moment being a wizard wouldn't be horrible - cleaning up a quick mess or a spot. Hopefully it wouldn't happen. Taking the quick trip to the cafe where he was meeting his relations was painless, he arrived before they did, ordered a quick and small something and was just getting his food when they arrived. His parents and aunt didn't comment on his outfit - they seemed a bit surprised, just didn't say anything. They chatted and ate till 10:30 when he glanced at the time and said he had to get going. He still needed to get something for Harry and Jimmy, and wasn't sure what. Thankfully maybe Luna could help advise him if he didn't see anything there while wandering around.

Taking a quick taxi ride to the department store he got out and saw he had an hour. One hour in which to find something for his cousin he had barely spoken to in the last few years. His cousin who was in a matter of hours marrying another bloke, somehow. 'What do you buy two blokes getting married' he thought to himself as he looked around a bit before stumbling upon the jewelry section.

" _Are you looking for anything in particular, sir?" The man at the counter asked Dudley as he was glancing over the displays._

" _Yes, um... Those earrings there, How much are they?" he replied_

" _It's £20, Sir."_

" _Um, all right. I'll have them,"_

" _Lovely. Would you like them...gift-wrapped?" the man asked with a smile on his face._

" _Uh, yes. All right." Dudley responded. That was a good idea, then nobody would notice it while bringing in gifts for his cousin._

" _Lovely. Let me just pop it in the box right there."_

" _Look, could we be quite quick?" he asked, looking around nervous, it was almost noon and he was getting nervous as it was._

" _Certainly, sir. Ready in the flashiest of flashes." the man said, making odd motions with his hand, "There."_

 _Dudley smiled, "That's great."_

" _Not quite finished." The man said, shaking his finger, placing the box with the earrings in a bag._

" _Look, actually, l-I don't need a bag." Dudley said, reaching for the gift, "I'll just put it in my pocket."_

" _Oh, this isn't a bag, sir." he responded, continuing his wrapping job, dismissing Dudley's hand._

" _Really?" Dudley retorted, not so sure about this whole endeavor._

" _This is so much more, than a bag." He replied._

 _Dudley was starting to get a bit annoyed with this guy, he was going to make him late, or worse, Luna would see what was going on. "Ooh! Could we be, quite quick, please?" he was trying to stay nice._

" _Prontissimo!" the man said, then reaching into a drawer he couldn't see pulled out a stick and added it into the bag._

" _What's that?" He asked, wondering what the stick was for, or maybe what the guy was on with all this craziness._

" _It's a cinnamon stick, sir." He responded as a matter of factly._

" _Actually, I really, uh, can't wait." Dudley stated, getting a bit annoyed with the guy._

" _Oh, you won't regret it, sir."_

" _Wanna bet?" Dudley mumbled under his breath, barely audible to the man._

" _Tis but the work of a moment. There we go. Almost finished." he said as he put the stick in the bag as well as a few other things Dudley wasn't sure in there as well._

 _"Almost finished?" Dudley questioned him, "What else can there be? Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?" Dudley added, starting to get quite annoyed, and ready to walk away from the guy. It was almost noon._

" _Oh, no, sir." He said with a laugh, "We're just going to pop it in the holiday box._

" _But I don't want a box."_

" _But you said you wanted it gift-wrapped."_

" _I did, but…" He started to say before he was interrupted._

" _This is the final flourish."_

" _Can I just pay?" Dudley said, reaching into his pocket to get his wallet out._

" _All we need now…"_

' _Oh, God!' He thought and nearly mumbled to himself._

" _Is a sprig of…" The man started to say before Dudley stopped him._

"Sir, while I appreciate it all, I really do have to get this paid for, as the recipient should be here shortly and I'd like to surprise her with it later." He said, almost pleading, and he was finally granted that moment of pity. The box being rung up and his card taken. Dudley managed to get his wallet in his pocket and take the box to the pocket of his suit just as he heard her voice coming from behind him.

"Dudley, hi!" Luna said, she looked wonderful in her dress, it was a very pale blue which went wonderfully with her grey eyes and her blonde hair which was tied up in a fancy arrangement on her head.

"Luna, you look amazing! Not that you didn't last night, just…"

"Thank you," she said, not making him finish his thought. "Did you get what you needed for them?" she added, a bit confused as she didn't think Harry or Ginny were the jewelry type. Ginny was such a tomboy with her brothers and being a quidditch player, and Harry, he was just Harry.

"No, I actually found something else I thought I should get. Honestly, I'm not sure what I should get them. Harry and I didn't talk much since that last year in school, er he was supposed to be there, I guess."

Luna nodded, "I actually have an idea on what they both would enjoy, you just won't find it in these shops." she said with a smile.

"Really, do you think you could help me out, will we still make it in time?" He asked, not wanting them to be late, especially if he needed to be there for Harry to actually get married.

"Oh yes, it'll be fine, and actually on the way, I need to get something at the stop as well." She said and she grabbed his hand and led him out of the store.

Walking and taking the underground which Dudley paid for, as it seemed Luna had never used it before as she seemed a bit confused by the whole thing. They eventually made it to the Leaky Cauldron. It was odd, the place looked pretty run down, though Luna insisted this was where they needed to go. Making the way in and seeing it, and people in there, those people in there. They made their way through when Luna got her wand out and tapped a wall, making the bricks separate and make an opening. He had never seen anything before so amazing looking. Now he could understand the appeal and why Harry was always excited to go back every year. Walking along the street she guided him a large building. "You'll have to convert the money you were going to spend into wizarding money, it's a wizarding shop they'd like. You've got two options - clothing, or sports."

"Sports? Harry and sports?" Dudley asked, a bit confused, Harry was really not the sport type, he was kind of scrawny and could never put a good fight up compared to Dudley.

"Yes, Sports - they both like Quidditch, and are quite good at it. They were both on the school team." Luna said, a bit confused that Dudley hadn't known that about Harry, but if he was a muggle, maybe they just didn't discuss Hogwarts, not wanting Dudley to feel more left out.

"How about clothes? He was always wearing my old stuff, so it'd have a bit of a joke behind it, if you think they'd both enjoy it?" Dudley thought with a laugh, "Maybe make it less uncomfortable, since I really don't know them as well as I suppose I should for being his cousin."

Luna thought for a moment and nodded, "Do you want to go in the bank with me, the goblins run the bank, or would you prefer to wait right here?" she asked, while she thought they were interesting, she wasn't sure how he'd think of them, and it might make the whole transaction quicker too.

"I'll, I'll let you go, you would probably be quicker. I can stay right here." he said.

Dudley grabbed his wallet and the money out to give her. He wasn't sure how much he should do, but he figured £50 would be plenty enough for just him going and handed it over to her. Luna took the money and went in, coming back out about ten minutes later with a bag of odd looking coins, handing it to him, then leading him to the clothing shop to get a gift voucher for the couple. Luna took care of that for him as well, the shop was looking busy and she stated she had planned to get them one for there as well and would be easier to do it herself.

After the vouchers had been purchased, they headed to another building a few streets off the main road. It looked almost like a chapel, which made some sense, with the exception of the whole business of both being blokes. As they were getting ready to walk up the stairs, Dudley hesitated, fumbling to grab the box from his pocket. "Luna, I, I know this is a bit odd. I actually got these for you. I really do like you, and you've been so nice, and helpful with everything, showing me where to go and giving me a better idea on what to get them for the wedding."

Luna hesitated and tilted her head to it's side, "I don't find it odd at all. I like you as well Dudley. Would you like me to open it now or wait till later, maybe after the service?"

"I think now would be better, I thought you could use it during the service." He said with a small smile, the earrings really would look great on her with the dress.

Luna smiled and opened up the box, smiling, she found the cinnamon stick in there and her face lit up even more. Dudley wasn't sure what was going on, why anyone would really be excited about that part. She placed it in her hand and then saw the earrings. "Dudley, they look beautiful, and the cinnamon, how thoughtful!" she exclaimed and gave him a hug, him not expecting it at all.

After they separated she placed the earrings in her ears and tilted her head back and forward a bit, "How do they look?" she asked him, as she was placing the cinnamon in her hair, though it wouldn't be seen.

"The earrings, yeah, they look wonderful on you, though the cinnamon…"

"It helps ward off the Heliopath! It's so thoughtful of you! How did you even know about them?"

"Harry, he told me about them, I thought it would be good to have it." he lied through his teeth. Luna was ecstatic.

Walking into the chapel area, he separated from Luna and found Harry, looking nervous. He walked up to him, giving him a handshake. "Nervous"

"What's there to be nervous about? Ginny is great. I love her. She understands me, she understands quidditch, likes it as much as I do. She just really gets me, and me, not Hero of the Wizarding world." Harry replied

"Then why aren't you marrying her?" Dudley asked, a bit confused, "Oh, and I told Luna you told me about those Heliopath things, and the cinnamon, so, thanks."

"I am marrying Ginny, what did you think I'd been saying this whole time? Plus her name was on your invitation, might I add." Harry asked Dudley, a bit confused about the creatures also, though it wasn't the time to comment. He was wondering who Dudley thought he was going to marry.

"Jimmy?"

The End


End file.
